A radio ad for a matchmaking service boasts a scientific approach: It will find you a person who is compatible with you based on 29 areas of compatibility. I didn’t even know there were 29 spare parts to me.
This may be a good idea; we don’t want any surprises, after all. I found out after marriage that my husband and I don’t think the same things are funny. My younger son and daughter are still the only people in my life who can make me double over, roll on the floor, and gasp for breath. On the other hand, my husband has more faith encompassed in a human body than almost anyone I have ever met, and that is more important than making me laugh.
A counselor once told a roomful of us at a marriage seminar that your marriage is in trouble the day you realize you didn’t marry yourself. Satan will try to make you think you have made a terrible mistake. I remember when my brother was courting a pretty French girl and getting cold feet toward the end because, as he told one of his friends, “I’m not sure I could live alone with her on a desert island.” His friend wisely replied, “You are not going to live alone with her on a desert island.” My brother proceeded to marry the girl, and they have been devoted and in love for 35 years now.
If we could only look at our marriages as God’s laboratory for sanctification we would be a lot better off. Sense of entitlement would melt away. Even if you are compatible in 29 areas, one of you will still probably like to put the silverware pointing up in the dish drainer for cleanliness sake, while the other will insist that for safety reasons the pointy ends should be turned down. (Unless this is one of the 29 dimensions scientifically assessed; I don’t know because I haven’t registered for the service.)
The fact is that a person submitted to God can be contentedly married to just about any personality type, with a few adjustments, whereas a person not submitted to God will not be happy with what he thought going into marriage was his soul mate. I mean this to be an encouragement to you who are searching for a partner. Put neither too much nor too little stock in compatibility indexes. Fear of God is key, and love covers over a multitude of incongruity.