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Confessions of a 25-year-old Christian virgin

"Confessions of a 25-year-old Christian virgin" Continued...

Such is the level of disconnect between our religious beliefs and our sexual behavior. How do Christian women find the truth between these clouds of mixed messages? 

Mindy Meier, an InterVarsity Christian Fellowship staff member in the Chicago area, has heard every question imaginable after years of working with students in fraternities and sororities. In her book Sex and Dating, Meier tackles real-life conflicts and honest questions that aren’t publicly voiced in most churches.

Some of the questions came from one-on-one coffee dates. But most came anonymously through text messages and note cards. Such questions have always existed in young Christians’ minds, but platforms to express them honestly are rare. Many parents and youth leaders share the mentality that if they don’t talk about it, young Christians won’t engage in such activities—which only leaves them floundering, Meier said. 

“I think there’s a lot more going on among Christians, even among students at Christian schools, than we know, but less opportunities to talk about such things,” she said. “I wrote this book to get the dialogue going.” 

Some Christians, though disturbed about the culture today, suffocate under what Meier calls “an invisible gag order” to stay silent because “that’s just the way it is, so get with the program and don’t try to swim upstream.” 

But more and more young adults, even secular ones, are voicing disenchantment with today’s hookup culture. No matter how depraved and twisted the world becomes, human beings know deep down that sexual sin is wrong, Meier said. That’s because God created us as sexual beings. Sex affects us not just physically, but emotionally and spiritually, too. And like any gift, it can be hijacked and abused. 

“I do think people have much deeper regret with sexual sin,” Meier said. “Sexual sin is very deep, because we know in our gut that it’s something precious and sacred. There’s a soul component to sex.”

The problem with the hookup culture is that it obliterates that precious and sacred component. Absent a lifelong commitment, the pleasure we experience in sex turns to dust, revealing just how much we’ve sacrificed for a temporary thrill. A few weeks after my friend announced she’d lost her virginity, she and her boyfriend broke up. Not long after, she was sort-of dating another guy.

But my other friend, Christine, is engaged to another Christian man who knows about her past. They are waiting to have sex until after they’re married.

As I observe the stories unfolding around me, I’m reminded of Meier’s portrayal of a Christ who is righteous yet merciful. God isn’t a killjoy who wants us to go against our prime desire as sexual beings. In reality, God’s high standard on sexual purity protects us from ourselves. 

The truth is, we’re all broken people, living in a broken world. Human emotions and relationships can get complicated and confused, but Christ’s grace for redemption never does.

Sophia Lee
Sophia Lee

Sophia is a features reporter for WORLD Magazine. She graduated from the University of Southern California with degrees in print journalism and East Asian language and culture. She lives in Los Angeles with her cat, Shalom. Follow Sophia on Twitter @SophiaLeeHyun.


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