Single & stuck?

"Single & stuck?" Continued...

Issue: "Books and Movies 2006," July 1, 2006

WORLD: And that action would be?

MAKEN: Single women should not sit on their laurels somehow believing they are "waiting on the Lord." Scripture prescribes a normative-to marry "in our youth," when the full rights, privileges, and benefits of marriage are enjoyed. Unfortunately, today the attainment of marriage comes from playing dating roulette, and all of the unintended consequences are nicely repackaged as "God's will." We should reject the disorganized mating pattern bequeathed us, and instead reactivate our fathers or other Christian surrogates to assist us in the quest to find a worthy spouse and to keep the young men who do pursue us from squandering our time and our youth.

WORLD: Debbie, do you believe that unmarried people without the call to celibacy are living outside of God's will?

MAKEN: "God's will" is determined by what is written in His Word, not by our circumstances. God expects the timely marriage of Christian adults who have not the gift of continence. For those who don't marry there are consequences-being vulnerable to sexual sin, infertility, and missing out on the covering, protection, and intimacy from a spouse.

WORLD: If you could give a guy one piece of dating advice, what would it be?

GILLIAM: A lot of guys hang back out of confusion about roles (Who opens the car door? Who pays?). Some are confused about where they fit (Do women really need us? She already owns a home or has a great job, what can I offer her?). Sometimes they fear blowing it (What if I'm too this or too that, or she rejects me?). If I could encourage the guys to do anything, it would be to cling to the confidence that in Christ, they are enough.

WORLD: How many times can a mother ask "met anyone interesting lately" without driving her daughter crazy? What practical suggestions do you have for parents who want to help, as Debbie suggests, but not be seen as meddling?

GILLIAM: First, prayer-praying your dreams for your child AND praying your child's dream for themselves. To be able to do the latter, a parent might need to ask a daughter what she wants at this stage of the game, and then ask if there's anything you might do-in addition to prayer-to help. Parents can ask their sons the same. Some folks want parents' active involvement; some don't. Some want their parents' inquiry; some don't.

WORLD: On a lighter note, what's the worst line a guy ever used on you?

GILLIAM: I have had them all! After talking to a guy about art, he asked, "Would you like to come to my room and see my sketches?" (At least it wasn't his "etchings"!) And then, there was the guy at the fraternity party who, sipping his beer while I tried to share Jesus by building connections around our common interest in guitar, declared, "I know this sounds like a line, but I really do mean it: I really do think we could make beautiful music together!"

MAKEN: I would rearrange the alphabet to put U and I together.

Susan Olasky
Susan Olasky

Susan pens book reviews and other articles for WORLD as a senior writer and has authored eight historical novels for children. Susan and her husband Marvin live in Asheville, N.C. Follow Susan on Twitter @susanolasky.


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