"Dark-skinned Indian, Sri Lankan, Indonesian; truck drivers, cooks, and maids; all children of a lesser God in the eyes of these Islamists of the Gulf."
Tarek Fatah, Muslim leader and Toronto TV host, noting one reason Gulf states pledged so little to tsunami relief efforts.
"I certainly couldn't do like Solomon and divide the child. So I trusted to luck."
Italian judge Carlo Alberto Agnoli on why he flipped a coin to decide where a 5-year-old child would stay over the holidays; the judge flipped a two-euro coin because there was no time to convene a proper trial.
"The media was using the words: 'Alex is Gay.'"
Film director Oliver Stone, complaining that the frosty reception for the film Alexander is due to "a raging fundamentalism in morality in the United States."
"I am very grateful. And I'm not making that up."
Dave Barry on the end of his 3-decade-old humor column.
"It's a mark of a leader to take a bullet for the team, not for the team to take a bullet for the leader."
Rep. Mark Kirk (R-Ill.) on GOP congressmen backtracking on the plans to protect Majority Leader Tom DeLay by changing the ethics code to allow an indicted leader to keep his office, after Rep. DeLay urged members not to change the rule after all.