Dispatches > Quotables


Issue: "Surviving the Y2K panic," April 3, 1999

There's not much of it left.

Jack Kevorkian, responding to Judge Jessica Cooper's question, "Do you understand you could spend the rest of your life in prison?" Judge Cooper had expressed misgivings about allowing Dr. Kevorkian to serve as his own lawyer.

Jay's a genius, but his common sense is a little low.

15-year-old Bobby Satiro, whose 18-year-old brother Jay, a high-school dropout, was charged with computer tampering after hacking into the internal computers of America Online and altering some programs.

Voters know astonishingly little about him other than the monogram on his shirtsleeve.

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Democratic Chairman Joe Andrew, poking fun at Texas Gov. George W. Bush's "front-porch campaign," where he stays home and greets visiting delegations.

The chips in his head are having their Y2K crisis nine months early.

Republican spokesman Mike Collins, responding to Democratic criticism of the GOP presidential field, noting Vice President Al Gore's "gaffe-a-day campaign" is in full swing.

We've been sued. We've settled. We've lost a lot of money.

Bob Fedderwitz, executive director of Bonaventure Town Center Club in wealthy Weston, Fla. The club banned soap, body wash, shampoo, conditioner, and shaving cream from its locker rooms after the club's insurer considered dropping its coverage. The club has been sued by people who slipped and fell in its locker rooms.

At this stage, forgiveness is appropriate.

Mary Jo Buttafuoco, explaining that she has forgiven Amy Fisher, the infamous Long Island Lolita who had an affair with her husband, Joey, and shot her in the head in 1992. Mrs. Buttafuoco and Miss Fisher began writing to each other more than six months ago.


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