Dispatches > Quotables

Quotables

Issue: "Campaigning from the closet," Sept. 19, 1998

Who can you trust if you can't trust your vicar?

Church of England member Louise Talbot on vicar Roy Hibbert, who last week was orderedjailed for nine months for overcharging parishioners for funerals and weddings, including imposinga fee to bury stillborn babies. Ms. Talbot said shewas duped twice, paying $195 for her first wedding, which should have cost $62, and a further $530 for a marriage to her second husband.

No one but God knows our future and can guide our steps in the right direction.

Pope John Paul II, criticizing those who turn to psychics and astrology for guidance.

I've heard people say, 'With this money, you could buy food for an African nation where the people are starving.'

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Icelander Hannes Hjalmarsson on the $2 million cost of transporting Free Willy star Keiko, the orca (killer whale), to his native waters.

I just don't want to be taxed.

St. Louis Cardinal grounds-crew member Tim Forneris, who retrieved Mark McGwire's record-breaking 62nd home-run ball last week. Mr. Forneris was referring to reports that the Internal Revenue Service planned to tax the historic baseballs even if returned to the home-run hitters. IRS commissioner Charles Rossotti, whose agency has come under increasing scrutiny on Capitol Hill, tried to laugh off his quick change of heart: "Sometimes pieces of the tax code can be as hard to understand as the infield fly rule. All I know is that the fan who gives back the home-run ball deserves a round of applause, not a big tax bill."

What is God trying to tell me?

Former middleweight champion Jake LaMotta, whose 49-year-old son Joe was among the 229 who perished aboard the Swissair flight that crashed off Nova Scotia. Mr. LaMotta's other son, Jake Jr., died this February of cancer. Last week, Mr. LaMotta filed a $50 million lawsuit against both Swissair and the Boeing Co., manufacturerof the MD-11 aircraft that crashed.

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